Nov 07

Top 5 Annoying Traits Men Have

I’ve asked some friends about the annoying traits that men have, and have come up with this completely random list. Ofcourse, none of these were my traits since I am so manly – I have transcended manliness and thus have shed these traits behind in my former hairy, smelly, shell – much like Cicadas in the summer. However, for you mortals, I have compiled this list, complete with excuses.

5-whistling and or hollering at women as they walk by

Ok, so yeah – this one is kinda dumb. Fellas, she is no more likely to respond positively with a yell than a hello if she is not into you. Stop messing it up for the next guy by acting like a tool. However, ladies, has it occurred to you that this man – may simply have been admiring your exquisite sense of taste by matching your nail polish cleverly with the subtle colors of your summer dress, and was simply trying to let you know over the sound of the bustling city? No? OK – well had to try.

4-Not giving up the remote control

While this action may come across as domineering and frankly selfish, this act is actually one of selfless desire to please all in the household. Think of it this way. The man in this situation has taken the harsh responsibility of pre-screening all of the channels for the benefit of the entire household. Not only must he stay up late at night to check to make sure that indeed all 50″ of the TV that was just purchase performs up to standard, but his near endless source of tenacity and sticktoitiveness leads him on in shuffling through all 2,000-plus channels just for his family’s benefit. After such an ordeal, why don’t we applaud this man rather than ridicule and wag the finger?

3-Wearing holy undergarments

One word…loyalty. We never abandon those who have been with us in thick and thin and our undies are no exception. Most of us have an unusual, and possibly creepy relationship with our undies. Why ole blue has been with me since college. A little wear and tear won’t cause me to leave him behind – not after all we’ve been through!

2-crotch scratchin’

The fellas must be comfortable at all times…period. There is no pleasure being derived from adjustment. Adjustment is just that…precisly calculated adjustments to ensure said package is at optimum performance and comfort. Anything less would be uncivilized.

1-crotch scratching in public

Did you not read the previous? ALL TIMES…PERIOD! Where there is discomfort there is no shame.