At long last, the awaited excuse to get up from your desk as arrived. The call of nature has rung through loud and clear, and the coffee, soda, juice, or water that was had for breakfast, has done its work. It’s urinatin’ time.
As you make your way to the rest room, you try not to make eye contact with that one cute girl so she doesnt think your staring at her boossom and think your some kind of a stalker perv. You evade the the guy with the weird haircut that talks incessantly about the same thing over and over again with a well played pivot move you picked up from streetball the other day. Nice move. Finally you make it to the stalls. The muscles relax, and you relieve yourself – or so you think.
It’s instinct to finish up by washing your hands (unlike your boss who always wants to shake your hand knowing good and well he hasn’t washed his hands for the past few days) and keeping it moving but the dreaded happens. As soon as you leave the bathroom, you feel your bowels doing their good work, and this mornings bagel is making its move as well. This is the question we all want answered. After you have already urinated and left, should you go back in for #2?
The risks: 1. The cute girl you were trying not to stare at notices you making another move for the bathroom again and immediately thinks you have explosive diarrhea, and this is just round two. She will think you have to booboo every time you get up and will give you with that look of disgust you were trying to avoid all along.
2. If you don’t go, you will be uncomfortable for the next 15 minutes, and have to go anyway, but this time you will need to have an excuse like, I left my pen etc… But if you wait, what if it really is explosive diarrhea? You try to let some gas out and its a wrap.
Our call is to make the move boldly. No flip-flopping. Go back in man and handle your business. In our collective experiences here at the manly man, certain female confidants have reported that the female bathroom is much worse than you think! Yeah, they have fancy stuff in there, but they have cloggings just like we do! Plus, you’ll be relieved when you get back to your desk, and you’ll be able to actually work instead of stall for a few minutes before you get back up.
So, with no apologies, no excuses be a Manly Man and take care of business when it arises.