Jun 01

#3 A Look at Cleanliness: The Evils of Halitosis

Lick the wrapper for longer lasting results

Lick the wrapper for longer lasting results

#3 Fresh Breath a must. As a man, many women have preconceived notions about us. One of which is the high probability that a man will have bad breath. Now the fact that they presume such is not the tragedy, but the overwhelming odds that this assumption will be true if closely inspected. This simply cannot stand! So, if you are a male, and are reading this then we want you to do two things:  First stop reading. Second, take stock of you your halitosis levels.

If there is any doubt, erase it with a stick of gum. If the case is severe, then two or three sticks have never been proven to be harmful to humans…neither has licking the wrapper for extra fresh flavor.

Of course, this is only a temporary solution, but drastic times call for drastic measures. If you find consistent halitosis, you may want to clean up your eating habits and get an enema. If your breath is smelling like booboo all the time what else can it be?

  • Rose

    I feel that this article should have been written many many moons ago. That this problem plagues so many men out there is an issue, that they think brushing is the only way to keep the mouth not smelling fungal is an even greater issue. Who wants to kiss a…wait I think I just threw up a little bit right there. In any event I suggest more articles on general male hygiene aka:”the art of being cleanly or a least the appearance of such”. I feel this will help the dating lives of many men, considering available women will cease running after cute, considerably cleaner, un-available gay men. Thanks.

  • http://www.youtube.com/thelostanimals Jeremy E Jones

    Bad breath is just your stomach’s way of saying “Howdy!” to the ladies. It lets them know, much like a big belly or fancy jewelry, that you’re a capable hunter/provider who can procure enough food to create a gaping maw of STANK.

    I predict halitosis being the next big thing in the young urban male’s fashion repertoire.

  • Rose

    In light of this, er, lovely addiition to the “young urban males’s fashion repertoire”, I propose a counter prediction. As more and more men contract halitosis as an unconscious way to broadcast their eligibilty as mates, women evolve the uncanny skill of reading between the lines to see the ultimate truth of a situation. So, sir Jones, a woman would read your previous conversation instead as;
    Bad breath is also your stomach’s way of saying “Howdy! my insides are rottening. Sure, I can provide the means to host this awesome stank, however I can also assure you that shortly after mating I will most likely die from the rampant intestinal worm activity, leaving you and all other women to freely run the world, raising our children in the way of cleanliness and this “proper hygiene” you speak of” What’s not to love?